Tissue Paper Is Fun!
Piper: See my tissue paper my grandma from AZ sent me?
Simon: Yeah, I see it. Do you realize it's not the gift? Do you realize it's not edible? Furthermore do you realize she was my grandma long before she was yours too?
Piper: It's cool. It's colorful. I don't want to eat it.
Simon: Man, you sure are weird. You want to play with a thing that's not a toy and not edible. What's wrong with you?
Piper: Hey, don't be mean. Nothing is wrong with me, I'm normal. You are weird. Only motivated by food.
Simon: Umm, excuse me, you are my protégé. You are motivated by food too.
Piper: Motivated but not as dependent on it as you.
Simon: You'll learn that food is really the only thing that matters. I eat to live! Live to eat! I'd eat a lot more if I could.
Piper: Well thank goodness you never tried to eat me when I was a very small Pipe.
Simon: Oh please I have standards. Not a lot of standards when it comes to food. But I know what's edible and what's not edible. Like when mommie dropped oatmeal all over the floor. That was like sawdust. Or what about the mushrooms she commonly drops? No way! I've heard the word on the street is mushrooms make you hallucinate. Those things are not for me. Serve me up some Snausages and champagne instead!
Piper: Have I had champagne yet?
Simon: I doubt it, you need to be older to get it in this house.
Piper: Well I just celebrated my birthday so maybe this New Year's?
Simon: Oh geez, you really are weird. You play with tissue paper like it's a real toy and you think at age 2 you'll get champagne. (rolls his eyes and walks off)
Piper(goes back to playing with her tissue paper)